Quote of the Day (2013-02-28)

[C.D. is helping Chris with his first letter to Roxanne]

C.D. Bales: Let's take a look at that letter...

Chris McConnell: I think it's really good!

C.D. Bales: "Dear Roxanne, how's it going? Want to have a drink sometime? If you do, check this box."

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2013-02-27)

Sally: And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2013-02-26)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-02-25)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, this government is here to govern, not merely preside like our predecessors did. When a country is going downhill, it is time for someone to get into the driving seat, and put his foot on the accelerator."

Bernard Woolley: "I think you mean the brake."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-02-24)

"I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-02-23)

Martin: Women protect their privacy. You know how they are about their handbags, you never go in there. It's always "bring me my purse." A husband could say, "Honey, I'm being robbed, a guy's got a gun to my head and I don't have any money," the wife'd say, "Bring me my purse."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-02-22)

That's very reassuring from a marketing major at a party school.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2013-02-21)

Diane: Oh no. The thing I feared most has happened.

Carla: What? Your Living Bra died of boredom?

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2013-02-20)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-02-19)

H&H wouldn't let us use the bathroom when we were on strike. They put a cramp in our solidarity.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-02-17)

Kramer: "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"

Jerry: "No good?"

Kramer: "It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-02-16)

Jim Hacker: "So they insult me and then expect me to give them more money?"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, I must say it's a rather undignified posture. But it is what artists always do: crawling towards the government on their knees, shaking their fists."

Jim Hacker: "Beating me over the head with their begging bowls."

Bernard Woolley: "Oh, I am sorry to be pedantic, Prime Minister, but they can't beat you over the head if they're on their knees. Unless of course they've got very long arms.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-02-15)

Once had love, and it was a gas.

Soon found out it was a pain in the ass.

Source: Blondie

Quote of the Day (2013-02-14)

Mary: Hey, you want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?

Ted: No, I think I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead.

Mary: You're not that far ahead, Ted.

Source: There's Something About Mary

Quote of the Day (2013-02-13)

You are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend, near 400 pounds of nitroglycerin!

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2013-02-12)

H.I.: We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-02-11)

Reggie Lampert: You're blocking my view.

Peter Joshua: Ohh... which view would you prefer?

Reggie Lampert: The one you're blocking.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2013-02-10)

Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-02-09)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-02-08)

Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"

Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2013-02-07)

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-02-06)

Rebecca: Until I began eating clean, I never realized how a good a nice, dry ricecake could taste.

Woody: How can you eat those, Miss Howe, they don't have any flavor.

Rebecca: Oh, if I eat these I will live longer.

Woody: Well, I have a question. You know how you're always talking about how you hate your life? How come you wanna make it longer?

Rebecca: Shut up, Woody.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2013-02-05)

All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-02-04)

ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaggggh'. He'd just say it!

MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!

GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-02-03)

Jim Hacker: "But we can't stab our partners in the back and spit in their face."

Bernard Woolley: "You can't stab anyone in the back, while you spit in their face."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-02-02)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-02-01)

Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.

Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience.

Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago!

Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.

Source: American Beauty